Alright, so I left off last time discussing the nature of God. I think that is a good place to pick this blog back up.

Today I spent some time really thinking about prayer. I struggle to have a consistent prayer life, but when I do pray I love it. Many times I feel like I’m talking to a wall, but I know I’m not. What I am really learning to do is listen during my prayer times. At this time in my life I need to understand what God wants in my life. I mean, we should always want to understand what He is doing, but now I just feel lost. I feel lost because I am a knowledge person.

When I am interested in something I will consume my time trying to learn whatever that is. I will read books, watch movies, and vomit my knowledge to my poor unsuspecting wife. In this pursuit of a deeper prayer life I can’t apply any knowledge that I have because my relationship with God isn’t about my knowledge, or anything I know for that matter. The complete dependence that I seek in my prayer life comes from my heart. My heart and mind must disconnect. I must realize that God wants to touch my heart more than He wants to touch my mind. When He touches my heart I connect with Him in a much deeper way. 

I struggle with this concept because it is simple. Everything in my life is complicated from my hobbies- Adobe Flash, Dreamweaver, PSP, Drawing, Photography etc- to my job in the Coast Guard. BUT…God isn’t. Again God is love. All He wants to do is consume my heart with His love. His desire is to move into every aspect of my heart and clean out the junk that I store there. 

Isn’t that SIMPLE? I think so…I think that I will stop here for this post, and pick up next time about God moving into my heart which is about enduring.