I’m by no means a movie critic. Ok, that is a lie, but I don’t normally write about movies. Last night Whitney and I went to see, “He’s just not that into you”. While I must say it was something to do besides watching TV at home I wouldn’t watch it again. That isn’t because it wasn’t entertaining, but rather what I felt during the movie. 

I think what bothered me so much about this movie was how accurate it was about the American world-view of marriage. For so long men have made jokes about marriage and referred to his wife as the ol’ ball and chain. Women have also made jokes about the laziness of their husbands which often times comes in the form of how he grabs his crotch or how he only likes to watch sports. Neither forms of the jokes are very honoring to the other spouse, and while they are referenced in a joking manner there seems to be genuine sentiment about those issues.

I’m not an expert on marriage, but I have been married for almost 4 years. In those 4 years I have grown lazy in trying to impress my wife or even just trying to be gentlemanly to her as I was before marriage. Last night my eyes were opened a little bit more about how people can have affairs and boring marriages. What seems like a momentary slip of effort or complacency in our love can greatly affect our future care on concern for our marriages. Somewhere down the line one or two socks left on the floor becomes the ammunition to start an apt war or house war in the future. Obviously socks are not the problems…at least I hope they aren’t. It seems that when life moves faster than our love for spouse something is lost. The joy, excitement, anticipation and love that we had for our spouse is now something of a distant memory in our past.

How did we as Americans get to the place where we are “ok” with giving up on love with the ONE we have loved? I’m not going to get into how society affects our view on love, but I will say that our view of society should not be equal with our marriages. If society and life are moving too fast then slow down in your marriage. Marriages should be the driving force in our lives and not the other way around. At what point do we reschedule our lives around our families instead of our families around our lives?

Just somethings to think about for me. I have to remember that the commitment of “I do” doesn’t become an “I did”. To love just as passionately and desire my wife as I did before is where things begin to change. As someone once said, “When women are truly loved the world comes into alignment.” If a woman is truly loved than that man loving becomes the best version of himself. 

May we all be truly loved because of the love that we give.

dustin